Of late I’ve been falling repeatedly in sin and the wants of my flesh. It’s a horrible experience and season to go through. Trying so hard to live a holy life for God, yet I slip again and again in sin. Often times I ask God why He would let me fall into this pit of sin and infidelity of living an unholy life. A hypocritical life. But then I’ve yet again been brought to face God’s sovereignty over all things. The comfort of Romans 8:28 that He does work together all things for the good of those who love God; who are called according to His purpose. But even so with that knowledge it still is a heart breaking thing to sin against God. All I can do is lay bare and with feeble fingers cling to the throne of His great grace and ask for deliverance from this corruption.

O indeed, what does it mean to be a true Christian, a true disciple of Christ. Even in light of this painful time, I thank God that He has His purpose, a good purpose, to conform me in a greater measure to the image of His Son. A true disciple of Christ as expressed in this quote from John MacArthur’s book, Hard to Believe. I pray that the truth of that quoted prayer below be wrought ever fully and ever increasingly to my heart and soul as well as yours dear reader.

Lord Slay Me, That You Alone May Live.

Christianity, in the hands of some seeker-sensitive church leaders, has become a “get what you want” rather than a “give up everything” movement. These leaders have prostituted the divine intention of the Gospel. They have replaced the glory of God with the satisfaction of man. They have traded the concept of abandoning our lives to the honor of Christ for Christ honoring us. As such, our submission to His will is replaced by His submission to our will. Since people usually reject the real gospel, modern evangelicals have simply changed the message.
A saint of many centuries ago got it right with this prayer:

“Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess everything, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive. Let me find thy light in my darkness, thy joy in my sorrow, thy grace in my sin, thy riches in my poverty, thy glory in my valley, thy life in my death.”

“Thy life in my death”? That’s the true gospel. Jesus said it unmistakably and inescapably, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matt. 16:24-25). It’s not about exalting me, it’s about slaying me. It’s the death of self. You win by losing; you live by dying. And that is the heart message of the gospel. That is the essence of discipleship.

—John MacArthur, Hard to Believe