here is a Person that I consider myself much indebted to over the years and over my life. I just could not understand why He chose to come to me and reveal things to me.
The majority of my Christian life was all about trivialities of how to live right, how to live this way, how to be this, how to do that, all the while being just another guy with the church in his pocket and can take it out whenever he needs it.
In the beginning of the year 2008, I have written about my testimony of God finally revealing His saving grace upon my soul, thus began the journey of my magnificent obsession, of God.
I have been in and around church. I have been in small group meetings. Church meetings. Prayer meetings. I have listened to preachers and teachers. I’ve gone from the Benny Hinn to John Hagee, to Charles Stanley, to Joyce Meyer and Joel Osteen. I’ve been from worldly evangelicalism to finally Biblical Christianity. I’ve been in VCF for 6 years now. I’ve been in this planet for 21 years now. People all over the world go from young to old in the same state I was in the past year. Millions upon millions of people have died without the slightest conception of what it means to know God and His saving grace. And it made me think, why, oh why… why me?
Why the question, why me? Oh, because I know me!
I know myself. I know how I am and the depths of my depravity. A book wouldn’t be enough, much less a blog, to contain the full account of the frequency of how much I, consciously or unconsciously wander off and sin even in a single day. As the dear puritan, John Bunyan said, “The best prayer I ever prayed had enough sin in it to damn the whole world.” Even in my prayers, even in the supposedly holiest of states, I am prone to sin.
And I know that. I know it. I know that even on my best day it would still be enough to damn the entire world.
And yet, why me?
Damning people to Hell? Yeah, I can understand that. “Go God! They deserve it! All those sinners —com’on they deserve nothing less than Hell!”
But… to save me? WHY?
I can perfectly understand the bad stuff that happened and will happen to me, not to mention my phone being stolen yesterday. But to give me good stuff? To give me a roof over my head and clothing on my back? Why?
WHY? I just couldn’t get it! I am a depraved sinner! I have done the very thing all my life of what Anselm defines sin to be:
Anslem of Cantebury
Nothing is less tolerable in the order of things than for a creature to take away honor due to the Creator and not make recompense for what he takes away.
What God has given, God has taken away? Take everything away, I don’t deserve any of it. The righteous indignation of the holy and just God in His wrath upon sinners is what I deserve, nothing less, and yet, I am saved, loved, and perfected forever by His grace —why?
Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.NKJV (1 John 3:1)
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.
Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned — (For until the law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law. Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who had not sinned according to the likeness of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come. But the free gift is not like the offense.For if by the one man’s offense many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many. And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification. For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.)
Therefore, as through one man’s offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life. For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man’s obedience many will be made righteous. Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.NKJV (Romans 5:1-21)
Why? Why does God save? Why?
Because He’s THAT loving. Because He’s THAT good. And He does it all for the praise of the glory of His Grace.
Indeed, I say with the Apostle John, “What love is this?!?!”
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth — in Him.NKJV (Ephesians 1:3-10)
That my friend, is good news to me. Such good news! No wonder the Bible calls it the Gospel!
A message where I can say, “It’s not about me. It’s not about what I’ve done. It’s not about what I am gonna do. It’s not about what I can or can’t do. It’s not about how depraved I am. It’s not about how much I hated God. It’s not about the efforts I should make to be accepted by God. In me there is no good thing. I have spoken lies ever since my birth into this world. But God… But God in His grace and His mercy chose such a person as me even before the foundations of the world. Even before the foundations of the world He has written my name in the Lamb’s book of life. Christ, the Lamb that was slain even before the foundations of the world, God, did all that, knowing who I am, a wretched sinner.
Why?
He loved, saved, justified, sanctified, glorified and perfected me forever… all to the praise of the glory of His grace. Not that I am lovable, far from it, perish the thought, but He, being full of grace and mercy would glory in the redemption of this poor soul.”
Ah, “what love is this” indeed. That is grace. That is love.
What manner of love is this,
that God would look upon my soul,
not with wrath, anger or hate,
but to heaven my soul to take.
It is more than my heart could ever bear,
the gratitude I have for God.
From the Hell that was for me,
He gave His only Son.
—
“E’er since by faith I saw the stream thy flowing wounds supply. Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be ’till I die.” - There is a Fountain
